John Bunyan's Battle With Scrupulosity
A Look Inside Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners
Jul 28, 2009
John Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim’s Progress, is known for his writing abilities. But fewer people know that he experienced a long period of scrupulosity - and wrote a book on the subject titled Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners.
What is Scrupulosity?
Before one can understand John Bunyan’s experience, one must learn the basics of scrupulosity. Bunyan’s disease is a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), in which the person experiences prolonged anxiety-causing thoughts that result in excessive anxiety-relieving compulsions.
Scrupulosity sufferers experience obsessive thoughts about sin and condemnation to the point where some will go to extreme measures to alleviate their fear of God’s punishment.
The Onset of John Bunyan’s Scrupulosity
In Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, Bunyan provides an early account of his transition from a lewd, unruly individual to a faithful Christian. His conversion leads to astonishment and praise from his countrymen, who "began to praise, to commend, and to speak well of me, both to my face, and behind my back. Now I was, as they said, become godly; now I was become a right honest man.”
This, however, is where Bunyan’s OCD starts to infect his religion. Those with scrupulosity often struggle to find proof for the things that others accept without difficulty. Bunyan, for example, felt pressured to find evidence of his belief in God. He discusses this in his book, writing, “I could not rest content, until I did now come to some certain knowledge, whether I had faith or no, this always running in my mind, But how if you want faith indeed? But how can you tell you have faith?”
Bunyan’s obsessive thoughts about belief and salvation only got worse, making it nearly impossible for him to be certain about his religious state. His compulsions, in this case, were to find reassurance from the Bible; but though he searched for evidence of his elected status from scripture, the obsessions would only continue.
Although the writer found some relief from Romans 9:16, he continued to ask himself, “How can you tell that you are elected? And what if you should not? How then?”
The opening accounts of Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, however, show evidence of the obsessive thoughts, fruitless ruminations and near-constant anxiety regarding religion that characterize scrupulosity sufferers.
John Bunyan’s Intrusive, Unwanted Thoughts
Scrupulosity is characterized by more than constant doubts about religion. Many sufferers of religious OCD find themselves bombarded with intrusive, anxiety-causing thoughts that they consider to be very sinful. Bunyan provides a harrowing account of his experience, including, “All my comfort was taken from me; then darkness seized upon me; after which, whole floods of blasphemies, both against God, Christ, and the scriptures, were poured upon my spirit, to my great confusion and astonishment.”
Bunyan’s intrusive thoughts first involved skepticism about the fundamentals of Christianity, such as the existence of God and the proof of Christ as Savior. Soon, however, they developed into outright curses towards God. He writes, “I often found my mind suddenly put upon it to curse and swear, or to speak some grievous thing against God, or Christ His Son, and of the scriptures.”
Bunyan is not alone in his experience, as many other sufferers of scrupulosity have found themselves besieged by thoughts that go against their will. Although such thoughts are involuntary and caused by OCD, thus making them sinless, those who experience them may feel that they are sinning horribly against God. As a result, the scrupulous may find themselves apologizing excessively whenever such a thought arrives. For Bunyan, the thoughts appeared to be evidence of his lack of love towards God.
For more on the intrusive thoughts related to scrupulosity, consider reading the article “Afraid of Your Own Thoughts?.”
John Bunyan’s Unwanted Thoughts About Selling Christ
One of the writer’s most pronounced episodes of scrupulosity came when he was vexed with intrusive thoughts about selling Christ, in one form or another. These thoughts became overwhelming for him, as Bunyan “could neither eat my food, stoop for a pin, chop a stick, or cast mine eye to look on this or that, but still the temptation would come, Sell Christ for this, or sell Christ for that; sell Him, sell Him.”
Eventually, Bunyan feels that he consented to the desire: “I felt this thought pass through my heart, Let Him go, if He will; and I thought also, that I felt my heart freely consent thereto.”
If not for Bunyan’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, the writer could have apologized for consenting, regained his relationship with Christ and continued on with his life. The extreme nature of his OCD, however, caused this single occurrence to plague him for two years.
Bunyan felt that he had committed an unpardonable sin in letting Christ go, thus causing two years of grief. Those with scrupulosity often consider their offenses to be worse than others may perceive them, as was the case here.
Some Christians may think that they alone have an overwhelming fear of sin, intense anxiety about religious topics and frequent intrusive thoughts. In reality, John Bunyan – and many other Christians – have struggled with the very same problem. And unlike Bunyan, religious OCD suffers today can find effective treatment for their condition.
For information on recovering from OCD, read the article “Treatment for OCD.”
Sources;
This article makes use of the Gutenberg.org edition of Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, an online version of The Religious Tract Society’s edition. Click here to access it.
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