Religious OCD - Why it's Different

A Comparison of Religious OCD with Other Forms

Mar 16, 2009

Because of the spiritual nature involved, religious obsessive-compulsive disorder (scrupulosity) must be approached and dealt with from a unique angle.

James Ciarrocci´s "The Doubting Disease," an excellent book on the subject of religious OCD, was the orgin of much of the information in this article.

Having any form of OCD — a medical disorder characterized by obsessive, recurrent thoughts and the compulsions one undergoes to relieve their anxiety — is bad enough.

But what if the thoughts begin to go against God? What if the anxiety is not over physical safety, but one’s eternal destination? And what if exposure-response prevention, a common treatment for OCD, may be perceived as horribly sinful? Those are just some of the unique issues that make scrupulosity, or religious OCD, an even tougher disorder to deal with.

Dealing with Thoughts Against God

Almost every OCD sufferer has disturbing thoughts, ranging from ideas of physical hatred to blasphemous outbursts to sexually explicit images. With religious OCD, however, those thoughts are often directed against God or one’s religion. If thoughts about taking off one’s clothes or hurting one’s daughter are disturbing, such thoughts against God can often be much worse.

Additionally, the obsessions don’t just cause anxiety over a possible event; they may create fear over God’s judgment themselves. One may view their obsession over shooting Jesus, for example, to be so sinful that they repent for minutes at a time whenever it comes up. Or, one might take the blasphemous thoughts in their head to mean sinning against the Holy Spirit.

Understanding Traditional Religious OCD Compulsions

In most forms of OCD, the patient realizes their compulsions to be more or less nonsensical; someone who takes five showers a day, for example, will probably acknowledge that their attitudes are excessive. But a Christian with religious OCD who repents sixty times a day will likely defend their actions, saying that the severity of their sinful thoughts merits continuous apologies to God.

Even if one’s actions do seem unrelated to their religion, if the stakes are as high as salvation or one’s eternal situation, believers with religious OCD will likely see every precautionary action of theirs as justifiable.

Exposure Response-Prevention from a Religious Perspective

Exposure response-prevention is one of the most popular methods for dealing with OCD. It involves exposing oneself to the feared thought or action—be it walking into a supermarket or going sledding—without giving into any anxiety-decreasing compulsion, such as walking back out or stopping the sled.

With religious OCD and scrupulosity, though, E.R.P. may come across as wrong from a religious standpoint. After all, if one believes that the thoughts and actions are sinful in themselves, would exposure response-prevention not involve committing a grievous sin or dishonoring God?

Successful E.R.P., then, occurs only when the religious patient is sure that the method will benefit, not detract from their spiritual state. For Christians, this can be as simple as trusting that God forgives them for their obsessions and scruples without any immediate repentance or response necessary — or that the thoughts and scruples may not be sinful in themselves.

The Need for Treatment

Many religious patients may endure the mental torment of OCD in silence or inaction, thinking that God has given them the disease for a reason. Unless treated, however, religious OCD can bring one’s spiritual life to a halt, and even make them wonder about leaving the faith. (It must be stressed that OCD’s cause is medical, not spiritual.)

How does one want to spend their years with God? Will they do so in constant fear of judgment, as scrupulosity patients often do, or will they seek God’s help, and that of whom He blesses, and reduce the impact of obsessive-compulsive disorder in their lives?

I think I have this, but I still see myself as extremly sinful, I use to be able to read my bible, and visit people, ect. but now I can't even think of Christ without a cuss word coming to my mind, and about God's will, I hate this, and didn't ask for it, but sometimes I think that maybe I really want these thoughts, even though I cry out to God for forgiveness, I really wish I could have my peace back like I had 2 years ago.

Jul 16, 2009 9:32 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: You don't want these thoughts; you only think you might because of your scrupulosity.
What's important to remember is that the cuss words you hear in your mind are not deliberate; rather, they come from religious OCD. Thus, they are not sinful, and you need not apologize for them.
In fact, if you want to overcome your OCD, you should eventually deliberately think these intrusive thoughts, write them down or even say them--only because, in exposing yourself to them without repenting, you'll decrease the anxiety they cause. This strategy is known as exposure-response prevention, and it's known for its power in reducing OCD. (Please see the link under the story to another article of mine, 'How Does Exposure-Response Prevention Work?'
It can be scary to say things like "F*** You, Jesus," out loud, then delay or abstain from repenting, but it reduces the anxiety the thoughts cause.
If you have not seen a psychologist or psychiatrist yet, please do so. At the very least, talk to your physician about these thoughts.

May God show you the way to the peace that you once enjoyed!
-Kenneth

Jul 17, 2009 7:11 AM

Guest :

yea I have seen 2 doctors 1 said Schizophrenia the other Bipolar, I have prayed for over 2 years about this with obsessions changing, but now it feels like I really don't love God and with I see the cross or the bible, hear God or his son's name cussing in my mind comes. I have never wanted this and had a break for about a month before only for it to be worse, now though I don't know if my love for God will come back. I sure hope so because I hate these thoughts. I wish I could go back when I had peace, but I know I can't.

Jul 17, 2009 7:28 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Of course you can go back! What it takes is an OCD treatment regimen supervised by your psychologist or psychiatrist. The process isn't easy, but it's worked for many people.

Jul 20, 2009 11:13 PM

Guest :

I think I may have similar problems.... Mine is I constantly have to repeat over and over asking God to save me. and wondering if I asked him the "right way" and said the right things just perfectly in order to be saved, in turn i am tormented with doubting my salvation, and the cycle repeats! ughhh.

Jul 21, 2009 8:23 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: I think you definitely have scrupulosity. First, I (as a Protestant) would say that what really matters with regards to salvation is faith in Jesus (though, if you're a Catholic, I suppose you could include repentance for mortal sins, other sacraments, etc.) Second, God knows exactly what you're trying to say when you pray. He's not going to withhold forgiveness or salvation if what you say doesn't come out just right! The next time you worry if a prayer was done correctly, just tell yourself: "My words weren't exactly right, but God knows what I was trying to say. I don't have to repeat my prayer."

And please, if you haven't already, seek psychological help. God works through medical professionals just as He works through priests.

Hope some of this helps.

Jul 22, 2009 7:05 AM

Guest :

Yeah I know what you mean I have probally asked for salvation 200 times, and yes I know it's not the prayer that saves but your faith in Christ, and I always wonder have I really placed my faith in Christ . That haunts me till today I mean what if Ithink I have placed my faith in him and say I have, but I really haven't and don't know it. I mean that's what holds me down, then I think what if God has never drawn me to him then this is all in vain, but I will continue to seek him. And the cussing in my mind really eats at me, but I have to seek Him.

Jul 22, 2009 7:32 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

I know that you're probably seeking reassurance that you do have faith, but you need to understand that scrupulosity, not your apparent lack of faith, is the problem. That's why I would recommend treatment for the disease. Instead of trying to solve your apparent spiritual problems, most (or all) of which are likely the effects of religious OCD, I would recommend finding help from a health professional.
At the same time, though, definitely talk to a priest. Make sure that he/she knows about scrupulosity, as some uninformed clergy might think that your cussing is deliberate (which would only reinforce your scrupulosity). Conversing with a priest is extremely helpful if you fear that some part of the treatment process for OCD (especially exposure-response prevention) is sinful.

Finally, I recommend that you read two excellent books. The first is "The Doubting Disease," by Joseph W. Ciarrocchi. It's a great resource on scrupulosity in general. Second, try picking up a copy of John Bunyan's "Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners." Bunyan went through an agonizing period of scrupulosity himself, and while his treatment plan (reading scripture and praying) won't work for everyone, it's comforting to know that you're not alone with this disease.

Jul 22, 2009 10:11 AM

Guest :

Well I have talked to my Pastor and well we just prayed together a few times and he doesn't know about OCD and might say it would be me. And I have seen 2 doctors as I stated above and the one I'm seeing now thinks it's bipolar, even though I didn't tell him what my thoughts are, just that they don't stop, its hard to tell someone about this when you thought you loved God then this hit. I hope that the Lord leads me where I need to go. I mean I know Christ can save me but where is my faith?

Jul 22, 2009 4:27 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: first of all, if you think you don't love God because of these thoughts, then you're giving in to the scrupulosity. THESE ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! They come from a medical disorder. You have nothing to do with them.

You should not be afraid to tell a medical professional (preferrably a psychologist or psychiatrist, as they specialize in mental disorders) the nature of these thoughts. Once you explain just what is going through your head, the treatment process for OCD can begin. Until then, you're holding back the information they need in order to help you.

And finally, your faith is where it's always been: inside. :-)

Jul 25, 2009 1:53 AM

Guest :

hi mr. barchfiel.

im also suffering from this disease. i had this since i was 11 yrs of age until now that im 17 yrs old. tomorrow is my birthday. and how i wish i can go back to my childhood days wherein im a child full of trust, easy to believe and keeps on dreaming to be with God someday.

its really hard to have this disease, everynight i cry in my room. I dont know when this will stop. its hurting me. everyone around me is thinking im crazy. No one understand my situation. sometimes i think of taking the easiest way out in order to stop this. Pls pray for me.

Jul 25, 2009 1:57 AM

Guest :

DEAR SIR,

Im hving his kind of disease. I really cant handle this anymore. I always thinking of taking the easiest way out(to hang myself or jump in the building). tomorrow would be my birthday. im suffering this for almost 6 yrs. Pls pray for me. Thank you for posting your research about this disease. its really hard. i always cry at night. hoping for your soonest response. thank you

This site is God's way of giving us information about our sickness.

Jul 25, 2009 1:23 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

If you are having suicidal thoughts, call a suicide hotline (1800-SUICIDE, or find an additional one using the website http://suicidehotlines.com ) before you read the next sentence. In addition, talk to a family member or doctor immediately.

Guests: There comes a point where I do not have the resources or experience to help you, seeing as I am not a medical professional myself. If you want to stop crying; if you want to recover; if you want to regain your childhood happiness, you must schedule regular appointments with a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist (or a combination of those three). I cannot cure your OCD, but mental health professionals can. It takes plenty of effort on your part, of course. And by the way: psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists will not think you are crazy, and certainly understand what you're going through. It's their job to research and treat conditions like yours.

So before you post your next comment, I urge you to (A) talk to a doctor and family member about your suicidal thoughts, then (B) schedule time with (as I said earlier) a psychologist, psychiatrist and therapist.

Aug 10, 2009 7:02 AM

Guest :

Kenneth Burchfiel, I was wondering about if you are a christian, and what if any backgroud do you come from? You see some people who write about religious OCD are not a christian and that doesn't help any christian who is suffering from this affilction. And I'm a Baptist and it's hard to find someone who is a Baptist and talk about such things, I don't want you to be upset or think I look to you for therapy, but If I could find someone in my denomanation(I know denomanations are man made, but I find the Baptist to be the one most close to the Bible) THEN WOULD YOU COMMENTS AND ARTICLE BE MORE GROUND BREAKING. Anyways thanks for your article.

Aug 10, 2009 11:41 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: I am a Christian, but an Episcopalian instead of a Baptist. I hope the article is still of use to you!

The famous Baptist author John Bunyan wrote a book that you might find very helpful. Its title is "Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners," and it details Bunyan's own experiences with scrupulosity. In reading it, you should gain an understanding of religious OCD from a Baptist perspective.

Aug 11, 2009 9:56 AM

Guest :

I thank you for your comment and now that I know that you are a Christian then It makes much easier to accept this as a mental disorder. Even though I have these thoughts about Christ which I hate and don't want(how I know I don't want them and don't agree with them is that I hate them and ask for forgiveness when they come) I know that if I keep pleading my case to the King of Kings then I will find peace. Thanks

Aug 12, 2009 3:37 PM

Guest :

kenneth, thanks for this post.

i have scanned over the guests' comments, and i am having a much similar problem. i am pretty sure i have scrupulosity. i have thought this for about a month and a half now. i am almost certain that i have OCD, because everything i do on my computer/xbox and anything else has to be perfect and in place. if not, i feel so discontent. i haven't received any medical help, because quite frankly, i just don't want to, because i'm not the type that would deal with it so easily. just because i don't want to seek medical help, doesn't mean i don't want rid of scrupulosity. it is killing me. i have told the Lord many times that i want to be saved, and i will change, and not listen to the bad thoughts and go about my business... but the bad thoughts just keep coming into my head, and i end up feeling like i let the Lord down.
for example, when i click "save profile" when i edit my myspace profile, bad thoughts will come into my head like: "i am going to sell my soul to the devil if i save this layout and use it." when this happens, i end up clicking save profile like 25 times until i finally click it without a bad thought. i feel so discontent and anxious if i don't go back and keep clicking it until i hit it without saying a bad thought.

my bad thoughts mainly relate to selling my soul to the devil or giving my sell to the devil and things of that sort. and i when i pray to the Lord, i will get bad thoughts like something about hell or a cuss word about the lord or Virgin Mary. i tell him that they aren't true, but after it's over i end up feeling anxious and discontent again.

i'm sorry for making you read all of this, but i need your help. please respond.

thank you.

Aug 12, 2009 7:47 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: It sounds like you're living in a lot of pain, which God certainly doesn't want. What do you mean when you say you wouldn't deal with medical help well? I think you'll find that a trustworthy psychologist, psychiatrist or physician can help turn your life around and greatly decrease your obsessive-compulsive symptoms.

Please, don't be afraid to talk to a medical professional about any of this. They can really help relieve your OCD symptoms.

Two side notes: First, accepting imperfection is an important step in treating OCD (but made much easier with medication and professional therapy). Second, ask yourself: is it even possible to sell your soul? See this link: http://www.gotquestions.org/sell-soul-devil.html

Aug 13, 2009 10:16 AM

Guest :

Dear other Guest, I know how you feel about not wanting to seek help for the medical community, but let me ask you 1 question: Do you want to stay like this?
If not I urge you and beg you to seek help!! I didn't go for over 2 years and now it's 10 times worse than when it started. Save yourself some pain and get help, besides it might take them months to find the right meds, like me and I still don't have the right ones!! Please I beseach(beg) you to get help, you know the Lord Jesus used spit and clay to heal a bild mans eye s and told him to rinse his eyes in a certain fountain I think still, anyways this shows us that the Lord used something from the earth to heal a man yes Jesus did heal him but he used another element to show us that medicine is ok to take. Anyways pride goees before the destruction of man please cast your pride away and get help, for the Lord hates pride. Guest

Aug 13, 2009 1:51 PM

Guest :

thanks for that link kenneth, it really helped.
it also helps me to know that the Lord knows that i don't mean any of these thoughts.
could just faith and praying overcome these bad thoughts?

Aug 13, 2009 8:44 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: remember, these thoughts are a medical condition, not a spiritual one. They result from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. With that in mind, I advise that you approach your OCD as most people would approach a broken arm or a stomach infection: by seeking medical help and (in many cases) taking medication.

Faith and prayer help heal many spiritual diseases, but this is not a spiritual problem; it's a medical one. I believe that God has already answered your prayers; He has made available doctors and medications that can ease your obsessive thoughts and make life enjoyable again. Take advantage of these gifts!

Aug 15, 2009 9:16 AM

Guest :

thank you guest and kenneth, but if i don't take medication or go to a therapist, does that mean this will never go away?

Aug 15, 2009 11:44 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: As Jesus said, with God, everything is possible. But countless people struggle with scrupulosity each year because they're too afraid to seek medical help. I urge you to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about the symptoms you have been experiencing recently.

I think I once read a statistic saying that, for most people, OCD rarely goes away on its own. If you want to break free from the bonds of scrupulosity, you need to actively seek help.

Aug 17, 2009 7:08 AM

Guest :

Dear Guest, this doesn't mean that it won't go away, but listen to me please get help. Tell them about your thoughts you don't have to tell them what they are only that they cause you distress. This will only go away by God's help. Don't you see if someone is sick and gets meds, gets better who is responsible? God is the one who broght them out by meds. You see the world is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and they that dwell within!! Get it eveything you have belongs to God!! Even your body and he would like you to get help, because he loves you.

Aug 23, 2009 6:16 AM

Guest :

I have it too. the problem with me is that, whenever I think of god or whenever I pass through any picture or idols of god (i was born Hindu by the way), the utterly disturbing thought that 'god, i wish my mother dies' or 'god i wish i have a motorcycle accident' or anything like that comes in. it is just so so disturbing, and so distressful. please help!

Aug 23, 2009 2:33 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: those thoughts shouldn't distress you at all. God knows that you don't want to hurt your mother, and that you don't want to be in a motorcycle accident; certainly, He wouldn't do anything bad just because a thought asking Him to came into your head.

It sounds like you might be struggling with both scrupulosity and Pure-O OCD, which involves anxiety-causing thoughts. You may wish to read another article of mine, "Afraid of Your Own Thoughts?," on the subject. http://obsessive-compulsive-disorder.suite101.com/article.cfm/afraid_of_you r_own_thoughts

If you're having trouble separating your "real" thoughts from the thoughts originating from OCD, try reading this article: http://obsessive-compulsive-disorder.suite101.com/article.cfm/identifying_ involuntary_thoughts

These pieces can provide some support, but if you're serious about ending your religious OCD, you need to speak with a psychiatrist or psychologist. At the least, talk to your physician about the thoughts going through your head.

Aug 24, 2009 8:38 PM

Guest :

Thank you so much kenneth, for your support and help. the internet has been my best friend lately. I've been to the psychiatrist, and im on fluvoxamine now. its helping a bit. i hope i get better in time. at least i hope i can control the thoughts to a level that may help me lead a normal life.

The 'wishing' problem has to be the worst symptom i have ever had of OCD. i've had others thoughts which i can fight with, but this particular one just stresses me out.

Aug 24, 2009 10:27 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

I saw a comment (that seems to have since disappeared) which stated that deliberate exposure was the hardest step of OCD treatment for the commenter; they mentioned something about "wishing bad."

To me, deliberate exposure is simply the act of repeating an involuntary thought, whether by speaking, writing or thinking it, until it does not cause any more anxiety. To the best of my knowledge, this is not sinful at all; the whole point is to expose oneself to an anxiety-causing stimulus, not to actually believe or agree with the thought.

For example: Suppose that the thought "I wish to kill my mother" comes through an OCD sufferer's head. This thought will keep causing anxiety until they learn to play it in their head over and over again, knowing that continued exposure will decrease the anxiety it causes. Now, at any point in this process, do they actually wish to kill their mother? I think we can all say "no" to that!

One of the great difficulties with scrupulosity (religious OCD) is that any involuntary thoughts can appear to be very dangerous indeed; it is disturbing enough to hear a statement like "my mother is a devil," but what if the thought "Jesus is a devil" came through your head? If you don't know what obsessive-compulsive disorder is, and you don't realize the thought is involuntary, you may find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety (and repenting, or performing some other compulsion, to relieve such anxiety).

That is my long winded answer to the fear one has about the deliberate exposure step in OCD treatment. Remember: you're only exposing yourself to the thoughts (or other anxiety-causing things, like accidentally dropping a Bible) in order to make your mind "bored" of them, and thus less anxious. (This only works, however, if you delay or fully withhold whatever compulsions you associate with the anxiety.)

Oct 7, 2009 11:50 PM

Guest :

Aug 12, 2009 3:37 PM <--This post...

Oh my god this is exactly what I am going through. I've looked everywhere for something, somebody, somewhere who would be able to understand what my thoughts were.

I would have trouble explaining them to people... My OCD was never about being messy (in fact cleaning up a bit is something I could probably do more of, I have a habit of just ignoring messes), my OCD was about thoughts like "giving my soul to the devil".

I am not even religious, by any stretch of the imagination. I was raised a Lutheran growing up, which I am convinced was responsible for this in some part. My parents weren't any help either... Repeated phrases like "God knows what you are thinking" severely messed me up as a child. There was a period where I didn't sleep at all because the thought of somebody being in my mind all the time was enough to drive me crazy... Still is I guess.

It even extends to technology, like you with the Myspace layouts (though I do not have a Myspace account). It would be something like writing a school paper, "if I save and print this paper I will give my soul to the devil", causing me to redo the schoolwork, and getting a poor grade because I had to rush a bit.

Video games too, I used to LOVE videogames, now I would rather not bother at all, because I will be thinking "if I do X, I will die". Same with creating accounts, there was a period where I would sign up for forums multiple times, with 4 unused accounts and 1 that i used for awhile before abandoning because the thoughts got to me.

Not only Internet releated, but real life too. When I get out of my car I need to check the door a certain number of times. When I turn off the faucet, I need to see if any water is leaking. When I turn off my lights, I need to check the position of the lightswitch.

You don't have ANY idea how perfectly you nailed exactly the problems I am having. My latest one is that I think I might have had thoughts in the past about deleting an account so I need to delete everything tied to that account, which includes serious stuff like bank accounts and software licenses.

Let me know what you did, how things turned out, PLEASE somebody post relevant links this was so spot on its kinda scaring me, I thought I was completely alone, all of the doctors would assume my obsessions were something else.

Please post this I am sorry if I violated any rules oh man... can I get an email/contact information whoever posted this?

Oct 7, 2009 11:55 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Let's definitely talk more about this! I am the author of the article; you can reach me at KBurchfiel @ Middlebury.edu . I hope I can be of help.

Oct 10, 2009 12:34 AM

Guest :

I am a 23 year old girl and have excess fear of god in my mind. This is since about 10 yrs. I get worried over things thinking that what I have thought or done will take me far from god and/or get me punished. I am unable to know what is right and what not in matters of god and religion. I am under medication for this. I want to be a good devotee of god and lead a normal life like a wise person. Please help.

Oct 11, 2009 1:51 PM

Guest :

I am also suffering from OCD. I find myself sometimes speaking the awful thought. Most of my thoughts revolve around worshipping the devil. I hate to even type it, it is so awful. I have just started seeing a counselor. I have a hard time going to church because these thoughts seem to be worse in church & it is so blasphemous. I have been a christian for over 20 years & this just stared about 4 months ago. I am so afraid that speaking these thoughts will send me to hell, what do you think ? I am not able to take the antidepressants because of an allergic reaction. I really just wish I could die. I praise God & the devils name comes into my head or sing a hymn at church and the same thing happens. Please let me know if there is any other form of treatment I can try. I think a good thought & a completely opposite blasphemous thought comes in right behind it. HELP.

Oct 11, 2009 3:28 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest two (who posted this message on Oct. 11 at around 1:51 p.m.: IF YOU HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, CONTACT A SUICIDE HOTLINE OR TALK TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. I am worried about your comment that you "really just wish I could die." Even if these experiences are extremely troubling, you do not need to feel suicidal. There are definite ways to treat scrupulosity, and even (I believe) to overcome it.
Guest two, it sounds like your situation is worse than most. Do you know why you end up saying the involuntary thoughts (assuming they are involuntary, which I believe they are)? As I have recommended to other commenters, it is extremely important that you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about the thoughts that have been going through your head. Do not feel that they will judge you for what you were going through. I believe strongly that these thoughts are involuntary, meaning they are not sinful (as you cannot control them, and you likely do not initiate them).
Your psychologist or psychiatrist will likely have you go through exposure-response prevention, a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that involves exposing yourself to your thoughts. The concept may cause you some anxiety, but this is an extremely effective way to reduce your anxiety over the thoughts--which should be your goal in OCD treatment. Your first step would likely be to delay any reaction you have to the thought--whether that would be apologizing for them, thinking a "good thought" afterward or something similar. You would later learn to not have that reaction at all, and then to deliberately think, write or speak the thoughts--but this would be okay, as you do it to expose yourself to them and cure your OCD. That's not sinful to do.

First guest: I think we've talked via e-mail. I'm glad to hear that you're taking medication, but you should also understand that therapy is very important in treating this disease as well--perhaps necessary, too. Talk to psychologist or psychiatrist about your experiences, and if you already are, make sure to keep going. They can provide the help you need to overcome this disorder. It's also important to talk with a spiritual leader, either within your religion or outside of it; they can help you reach a clearer understanding of God that will give you more peace in life, and also help you better understand the requirements of your religion--so you see where you're doing unnecessary or self-harming things.

Oct 16, 2009 7:04 AM

Guest :

I can't even hear or think about any member of the trinity without cussing about them coing to my mind, it really eats at me and I hate it but most of the time it feels as if I want these thoughts like a part of me is trying to destroy me and the other part saying please forgive me, I can't think of any thing else and am always brought to remember the thoughts and its as if I am saying these thoughts and I don't want to this has been going on over 2 years.

Oct 16, 2009 11:00 PM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

Guest: It does sound like you're suffering from scrupulosity. I think much of the advice posted here to other religious OCD sufferers applies: first, talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist you can trust, then find a spiritual leader who can provide the support and encouragement you'll need during the treatment process.

I know that this has to be a painful time for you. God does not want you to suffer at all; for His sake, and of course for yours and those who love you, I hope that you will pursue treatment as soon as possible. Nobody has to live with scrupulosity!

Oct 25, 2009 8:39 AM

Wynne Lewis :

I have had religious OCD (scrupulosity) for the past 11 years. It all started with a thought I had about the "unpardonable sin." I was already sliding into depression, and was in a vulnerable state. I had read about the "unpardonable sin" in my Bible, and my mind grabbed onto it. One of the things I read about was that it was a sin of the tongue or pen; I have no intent to speak or write blasphemous thoughts. Also, as long as one is still distressed about it, that means that one has not committed it. So part of the OCD is checking, "Do I still believe this thought?" and also "Am I distressed enough about it?" In addition, when I cry out to God I doubt that I have done it with enought sincerity. I doubted the sincerity of my saying of the sinner's prayer, also. Was I really sincere? Did I really believe?
When I have the thought, one of the rituals I perform is putting my hand out with my palm facing outward, as if to ward off the thought. But I can't ward it off if it's coming from inside my own head, can I? As a Christian, I think I'm supposed to resist the thought, not encourage it in the form of habituation. Thankfully, I am going to a counselor in a week or so, so I can discuss therapy with her. I wonder if any other sufferers experience relapses at stressful times in their lives.

Oct 25, 2009 9:56 AM

Kenneth Burchfiel :

I think you make an interesting point, and there have likely have been points where I felt the same way about the thoughts. But what I ended up deciding was that, since OCD is all about being anxious over things that shouldn't cause distress, it's important to expose oneself to those things instead of continuing to distress over them. (Otherwise, the OCD continues.) These thoughts, in my opinion, and likely in the opinion of many psychologists, is that the blasphemous and likely painful thoughts that you've had don't require any distress on your part; they're involuntary, and thus not sinful (since you cannot control them or will them to stop).
Of course, the thoughts become deliberate if you expose yourself to them. But in that situation, you're only experiencing the thoughts as part of treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder, not because you enjoy them or like their content. Your goal throughout the treatment process should not be to simply rid yourself of the thoughts; that's something that your mind cannot do. Rather, you should try to decrease that distress and anxiety that follows them, as that sort of stress is likely what's encouraged you to see a counselor.
Of course, your mindset will likely not change overnight. At first, your goal might just be to delay that distress until a later period; that's a promising first step. My guess is that you'll eventually come to see that these thoughts should not cause you any distress.
I pray that the meeting with your counselor goes well! I'm glad that you chose to take that positive first step to find treatment for your disorder. Always remember that God is ready to help you through the process.

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Religious OCD - Why it's Different

A Comparison of Religious OCD with Other Forms

Dealing with Thoughts Against God

Understanding Traditional Religious OCD Compulsions

Exposure Response-Prevention from a Religious Perspective

The Need for Treatment

Further Reading